I thought for a long time about what to write for Bisexual Visibility Day. I’ve read a couple of great pieces so far, ones that analyze film or literature; ones where someone has come out as bisexual; ones talking about bisexual family life.
Not wanting to repeat anything that’s already being said, I simply couldn’t identify a good topic: something relevant and exciting and cheerfully BISEXUAL.
I mean, my life as a bi parent of queer kids is...kinda average. I live in the suburbs with my spouse. My kids attend school (virtually, at the moment) and do sports and sing in the choir. We adults work. We all have regular activities we do. Not that it’s boring—far from it! But there’s nothing that just screams “bisexual culture” from our living room.
And that’s when it hit me: I don’t need to write something New and Different. Isn’t part of the point that we bisexuals come in all shapes, sizes, ages, genders, relationship statuses and styles, and life situations? It’s not about “looking bi enough.” It’s about being seen exactly for who we are.
We exist. We are not a monolith. We aren’t gay and hiding out in bi-land. We aren’t straight and faking. Some of us like to be ragingly, screamingly, in-your-face BISEXUAL. Some of us quietly go about our lives, content to know who we are.
My kids and I like to play Animal Crossing. We’ve created an island together and there wasn’t much discussion—we were all in agreement to make it a queer space. (The images above are screen captures from the game. I hope you sense a theme.) One of the first things we did was make Pride clothing in the design center. This is who we are. We wear our colors so that others can see us and know they are not alone.
This is a common thread in a lot of what I write: You are not alone. It’s also something my co-hosts and I say on the Bi+plus podcast. We used to say it on our old BiCast podcast too: “You are not wrong, you are not broken, and you are not alone.” So many of us have felt isolated, to the point we were adults before we even heard the word bisexual or understood it to apply to ourselves.
I am here today to say all identities that fall under the bi+ umbrella are real and valid. We’re not going anywhere. If anything, there are more and more of us ready to tell the world who we are. Reach out and find us!
Some great bisexual resources:
- Supposed Crimes bisexual books
- Bi+plus podcast
- Bisexual Resource Center
- Robyn Ochs
- Bi: The Webseries
- The Big Bi+ List
- My books (A.M. Leibowitz on Amazon)
Also, please Google “shiny Toucanon” (from Pokémon). You’re welcome.
Happy reading, and happy Bisexual Visibility Day!